“I have suddenly found myself separated from my husband. He has been the main bread winner” “How do women that are SAHMs separate from their partners? I want to leave, but am not earning” “I’m looking into the window of a separation and possible divorce situation… Financially, I’m not prepared”
Many women in Australia take time off to raise children and rely on the income of their partners during this time. As these quotes from a support group show, this can be disastrous in the event of relationship breakdown.
Women are left vulnerable to financial abuse and coercive control, often ending up below the poverty line. According to government statistics, one in six women have experienced partner economic abuse, and other forms of abuse are higher in financially stressed households.
Dangerous myth of “trad wife” lifestyle
Alarmingly, many young women are becoming increasingly attracted by glamorous online influencers supposedly living the “trad wife” dream. Supposedly cooking all meals from scratch while homeschooling a horde of children, these women appear on camera every day with picture-perfect hair and make-up, often in multi-million dollar homes with designer kitchens.
The reality is that the women displaying a lifestyle of domestic bliss on YouTube and TikTok are anything but traditional, stay-at-home parents. Most have entire media production teams behind them and are generating a substantial income from their social channels, as well as selling products.
As the Institute for Family Studies observes, “they are not traditional stay-at-home mothers. They are social media influencers making money for their content”.
Sick, sacked, split – why you can’t rely on one income
Currently, around 40 percent of Australian marriage end in divorce. A 2022 report from the Melbourne Institute found that while men on average lost only five percent of their income after separation, women lost 29 percent. The researchers note that “maintaining a strong connection to the labour force could avoid this financial vulnerability of the primary carer”.
Unfortunately, even in the happiest and most stable relationships, relying on one person’s earnings is a risky strategy. Amid the current cost of living crisis, with housing affordability continuing to worsen, very few households can get by comfortably on a single income, not to mention if the breadwinner loses their job. Many industries are seeing job cuts and Australia’s unemployment rate is forecast to continue rising over the next twelve months.
Serious illness or accident is another significant risk, with “sole breadwinner stress” already harmful to health. Income protection insurance may be a backup, but be sure of reading the fine print to know exactly what situations it will cover, and how much for how long.
5 steps to protect yourself financially
- Plan ahead for any breaks
If you want to take a career break, whether for caring duties or some other purposes, budget for the break. Build a savings buffer so you can manage expenses without relying entirely on a partner.
- Negotiate super contributions
One of the biggest gaps in retirement income between men and women is due to the time that women take out of the workforce to care for children. The government actually has a spouse super tax offset to enable earning partners to contribute to their spouse’s super, if their spouse’s income is below $40,000 or they are not working.
- Stay informed and engaged in your career
It’s not wrong to want to take time out to be a full-time parent for young children. The problem is that depending on your field of work, re-entering the workforce at the same level (or at all) becomes increasingly difficult over time. Certain fields have high “skill decay” so upskilling during your leave, for example with online courses, and trying to maintain professional networks is important.
- Retain some income if possible
Freelance, part-time and casual work, even if it’s not in your previous field, helps maintain confidence, skill and savings, and can more easily lead back to full-time work than starting from scratch. If you’re lucky enough to have passive income from investments such as property, this can be another option.
- Stay in control
Above all, keep actively involved in your finances and financial decisions. Know what your budgets are, the cost of your rent/mortgage/utilities, what savings and investments you have, and any liabilities including subscriptions (Netflix, gym membership). If you’re in a partnership – married or de facto – you should both know one another’s income and any loans or debts.
If the worst comes to the worst, and you’re in a dire situation without protection or any financial means, there are some resources available. These include organisations such as Legal Aid NSW as well as some family lawyers who will take on pro bono cases. You may also be able approach your bank to reduce loan payments in the event of financial hardship.
By Lisa Creffield
Lisa Creffield is a journalist who specialises in business, finance and technology. She has written for major media outlets in Australia, the UK and UAE, covering everything from economic policy to fintech innovation. With over 20 years’ experience and a background working with finance and fintech companies, Lisa brings clarity and insight to complex money matters.
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